a window into my soul...

It’s been a while since I’ve posted. Mainly because work blocked Tumblr as a networking site. I can’t say I blame them. I’d be on every day, all day if I could. Also because my laptop was stolen and then sold for drugs… So besides my phone (which takes forever to write with) my only option is the library or someone else’s computer.

So much has happened, but really, it all seems the same when I attempt to put it into words. I keep saying something’s gotta give, but then nothing does and I keep moving. I suppose some day I’ll hit my limit.

I had court today. I’m thankful that’s over. Two years non-reporting probation, $904 in fines, continued mental health sessions and 11 months suspended jail time… That’s a lot better than NOT suspended jail time, so I’m thankful for the outcome. Now, I just need to mind my hot temper. I feel like stomping people’s faces sometimes. It’s not healthy.

The holidays are here.. not excited, at all. But, they’re gonna come regardless, so what I am a fan of is really irrelevant.

Anyhow, I guess in a nutshell, that sums things up. My other half is still battling his addiction, but (as far as I know) has been clean for two weeks today. I feel like even voicing it, I’m jinxing his progress. Or making myself look foolish for believing him, I dunno. But as it stands right now, I do.

i don’t know why but people falling cracks me up! i know.. i’m going to hell. in a hand basket. but in the meantime, LOL!!!!

(via wowfunniestposts)

Do you identify more with Gabriel or Michael?

"People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain."

Jim Morrison (via creatingaquietmind)
(Source: atomos, via littlelm2)

sofapizza:

afternoonsnoozebutton:

pimpin

Thoughts: Did you know?

makes me feel better…

u-neek:

80% of Americans have OR will get HPV at some point in their life, and most people don’t/won’t even know they have it. It’s as frequent in people as the common cold. I’m at risk. You are at risk. Everyone is. It’s not really an STD, but moreso an infection/virus. When it’s active, and even…

(via u-neek-deactivated20111219)

why was i born a woman?

Well, I had my quarterly pap last week to determine if the results are still abnormal, aka HPV. Results just came in, still abnormal. :( I have to be referred to another gyno. I guess I kinda figured nothing had changed. My first doctor said for most women it goes away on it’s own but that it typically takes about 1-2 years before you have a normal pap again. I just want to be free of it. And more importantly, I don’t want it to progress into cancer. That is my biggest fear.

I swear it figures that I’d contract something after not sleeping with a man for almost 10 years.. I finally do and… well, sucks to be me I guess.